June 5, 2011

Stump Breakin'

Puddyhead and I were watching the Preakness the other day, like all inveterate gamblers do, me to find a small trifecta, he to find the holy roller.

Gambling is gambling. Horse racing is horse racing. No one cares.

And yet here's the rub:

As they were bringing the horses to post Guy began waxing eloquent on the glistening hindquarters of these thoroughbreds, which I admit are rather impressive.

"Look at the asses on these beasts," he tells me. "Look at the sweat. The shine. It's like they came from a Clairol bottle."

I was ignoring him, looking at a few horses to bet. Then Pud said:

"Look at that fucker! VMan, I want to stump break that horse, son. And the one next to it."

Guy has never read my novel. He doesn't know Futch sex from anyone else's. But he was ready to stump break a horse. And even I am not sure what exactly stump breaking entails. I mean, I'm from south Georgia, and he's from Long Island, and he wants to learn me?

"You realize," says I, "That is a colt, right? He has testicles. Male. Might stump break you."

"I don't care," says Pud. That's a beautiful ass. I want to stump break it. It shines."

There you go. I don't create my world. I adapt to it. I become adept at it. And eventually I adopt it.

It surely is a crazy world.

Posted by Velociman at June 5, 2011 10:18 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Yes, resignation always brings a sense of peace, I guess.

"Stump break" sounds. . . painful for all involved.

Posted by: Joan of Argghh! at June 6, 2011 7:51 AM

I know the colorful details of stump breaking, heard 'round the pool in Bandera, Texas, two summers ago. Denny can tell it better, though.

Posted by: Harper at June 8, 2011 10:37 AM

v-man - It's too bad you weren't at Camp Blownstar two years ago when the owner of the ranch got off on stump breaking and other facets of animal husbandry. It would have been even better if you and Catfish would have been there. It's a shame that we couldn't find enough people with money to rent the ranch again this year and have moved to a hotel in Kerrville. Thanks Obungler for fucking up the economy. What sucks is that the hotel is gonna cost as much as the ranch without the food and the beer and other adult beverages.

Nice to see you blogging again.

Posted by: Denny at June 8, 2011 6:46 PM

Vman, you might want to keep hold of some pepperspray when watching the horses with that friend; and 'member, empty beer bottles still have one final use.

Posted by: Mockingbird at June 8, 2011 9:25 PM

as the clothing is being tumbled around within the heat, small bits of materials appear the pad and obtain trapped with a lint trap. the first decision you will have to make is whether to buy a coffee maker or an espresso machine. the only problem you may encounter is that counter-depth refrigerators do not offer as much storage space. not all the wood stove and stoves pose these dangers but it is important to take all precautionary measure s possible during the use. you should then place a large pot of water on medium heat and wait till its roll boiling and ad salt to it.

Posted by: VictoriaBlevins at October 24, 2012 12:01 PM

as the clothing is being tumbled around within the heat, small bits of materials appear the pad and obtain trapped with a lint trap. the first decision you will have to make is whether to buy a coffee maker or an espresso machine. the only problem you may encounter is that counter-depth refrigerators do not offer as much storage space. not all the wood stove and stoves pose these dangers but it is important to take all precautionary measure s possible during the use. you should then place a large pot of water on medium heat and wait till its roll boiling and ad salt to it.

Posted by: Chrisevc at February 2, 2013 1:29 PM

as the clothing is being tumbled around within the heat, small bits of materials appear the pad and obtain trapped with a lint trap. the first decision you will have to make is whether to buy a coffee maker or an espresso machine. the only problem you may encounter is that counter-depth refrigerators do not offer as much storage space. not all the wood stove and stoves pose these dangers but it is important to take all precautionary measure s possible during the use. you should then place a large pot of water on medium heat and wait till its roll boiling and ad salt to it.

Posted by: Joepkw at February 23, 2013 12:07 AM

Thanks for sharing superb informations. Your web site is very cool. I am impressed by the details that you've on this web site. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched all over the place and simply could not come across. What a great web site.

Posted by: make money online today at March 20, 2013 1:27 PM

yp1T8R Major thanks for the article. Really Great.

Posted by: best money here at April 5, 2014 3:43 AM

Thanks a lot for the article post.Really looking forward to read more. Cool.

Posted by: accident attorneys omaha at April 8, 2014 11:39 AM

cheap authentic nfl jerseys top rate & fashion origional design for our kind customers with no tax.

Posted by: cheap Avalanche jersey at August 25, 2014 6:49 AM

Excellent post! My spouse and i, far too began workboxes the past few days of school last year mainly because I recently could not delay. I shared right now on my website about these individuals, far too! How wonderful idea, also it looks like it works intended for several types of homeschool parents!
woolrich outlet nederland http://www.njoy-galleries.nl/images/woolrich-jassen/

Posted by: woolrich outlet nederland at October 4, 2014 12:47 PM

Look at some sort of Siamese Cat? (They automatically chase as well as episode pets a Siamese pussy-cat will fizz fizzle wheeze whistle snuffle as well as throw along with go after a full sizing dog.... ) and nAnd a component of me would like Romney to ask Harry Reid regarding THE income taxes along with cash flow....

Posted by: économie at October 7, 2014 1:24 PM

Be grateful for everything I to get removed the actual Stones simply by broadband. I have been blaming my very own isp to the bandwidth complications and can will have to help appologise.

Posted by: RSR at October 7, 2014 1:46 PM

Actions of pisses me personally about very last fm is always that My spouse and i never ever incurred 13, 000 cent when they were constructing their particular data basic, I do believe our staff members allowd lastfm to monitor our own harddrives in order that it could raise which gigantic records bottom and then it go to demand for your assistance all of us aided to make.

Posted by: nike air max at October 9, 2014 10:21 PM

I am about the LABELLISé BASSE CONSOMMATION iMP Beta and may also validate it utilizes precisely the same KService' in order to disperse music, despite this software is definitely shut down.

Posted by: doudoune moncler pas cher at October 10, 2014 11:07 PM

Remarkable, totally great. Therefore i'm merely engaging in writing articles me personally, nothing remotely close to your publishing probable (ha! ) yet I""d adore that you consider my stuff someday!

Posted by: abercrombie soldes at October 14, 2014 1:21 AM

The way might a person take advantage of this option however create inside redundancy of the SAN? Might you develop 3 of such and make use of VMWare and/or Glass windows functions to be able to replicate data throughout the two in next to real-time?

Posted by: ralph lauren jacket at October 14, 2014 1:47 AM

Would you make this the general software package therefore ipad tablet people might take good thing about the bigger screen?

Posted by: sac longchamp pliage at October 14, 2014 7:05 PM

Check out MyFiveStarMusic. com I locate fantastic music along with i am just often upgrading. It has the farely completely new and also I'm hoping to get the item off the ground. Book it. Cheers I like the concept of these types of, nevertheless I such as enjoying on the net radio stations. It just takes apart the call to try to find songs. Simply established that, along with leave it without your knowledge.

Posted by: www.bbdocorporate.fr at October 15, 2014 5:49 AM

This particular app at this point crashes each time My partner and i attempt to acccess this since previous update! I will now not accessibility several vital pictures. I highly recommend you tell me how to handle it to solve this kind of! I cant drop all these photos!

Posted by: blouson canada goose at October 15, 2014 4:03 PM

There's beneficial in the phone referred to as slacker broadcast... I possess a google, and so idk if you have your computer web site Sure slacker absolutely includes a computer site. The great. Enjoy slacker. They also have considerably more audio than the planet pandora therefore you do not obtain all the repeating products.
Canada Goose Soldes http://creation-sarl.arst-publications.com/wp-content/languages/cache/

Posted by: Canada Goose Soldes at October 16, 2014 7:36 AM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?